isolation cube

ctrlcreep:

sometimes i consider using tumblr as a place to be social [instead of occasionally showing up here to post rambling lists] but i am held back by the fact that

1. i think i hate this site
   
2. i prefer interacting privately. open discussions seem to become performative & i’m not really interested in having a persona
3. it may cause me to enter an even greater spiral of introversion and narcissism
4. it’s probably a huge waste of time, & not offset by the meagre benefits of “having friends”
5. memes will destroy my life

is dunbar-deficiency a thing people have? these lame social urges are hard to quash. maybe if i treat other humans as a void to throw thoughts into, the need to self-express will be sated? the world is a confusing place, i want a quaint and isolated cabin and also i want to be swept around by the info-currents of a strong and warm internet connection, forever

i have consigned myself to a world of hell. also here is a place where i will talk.